Rock of Ages: Bittney, Buethin, Brereton, Bike Path (?)

Oh, what a ride.  21 Drafters, including 4 newbies, took a tour out west on a gorgeous evening. I would introduce all 4, but Dave W rode like Houdini (which is now his Drafter handle) and disappeared into the night.  I do hope to see Houdini again.  Lorin "Sweet 16" joined our over 60 cohort.  I met his wife a few weeks ago at Cronometro, during Colin's climbing clinic.  A delightful woman, she made no excuses for her husband, "He might be 60+ but he acts like he's 16."  Welcome to the Draft, Sweet. Dan-yelly brought a buddy, and when I asked her his name she said, "I don't know.  It's an orange box."  I suspect Dan-yelly thought I was asking what kind of vehicle her friend, Alp, was driving.  He will from this Draft forward be known as orange box, O.B./Obie for short. May the force be with you. And not last nor least, Tracy Q, who has for years proclaimed herself a slow but steady rider.  Similar to Zeno's paradox of the Tortoise and Achilles (Greek version of the Tortoise and the Hare), she's never last.  And henceforth, we will look forward to Zeno kicking butt and taking names.In my comfortable drafting position behind the boys who led us out west, one of my favorite songs as a kid was John Denver's "Country Roads" rolled around in my head.  As we speed along at an average of 18.5mph, including a max downhill speed of 50mph (as reported by Loose Screw who was choosing to exhibit No Brains and All Brawn, making up time lost climbing Braun to our tireless leaders), the lyrics morphed into this rendition:    Almost heaven, West WisconsinUnion Valley, Braun, Timber and StagecoachLife is old there, older than my knees,Young guys on Colnagos, blowing like a breezeCountry roads, take me homeTo the place I belongWest WisconsinMountain mamma, take me homeCountry roadsAll the fast guys, gather round themModest Drafters, Bomber, Tick Tock, Too HipDark and creamy, on tap at Free HouseMalty taste of Porter, teardrop in my eyeCountry roads, take me homeTo the place I belongWest WisconsinMountain mamma, take me homeCountry roadsB2 Bomber, Too Hip and the Human Metronome set a relentless pace.  It should be noted that the Human Metronome has substantionally increased his power to mass ratio since the 2017 season.  He warned the Drafter XX sector on the first night that he is "not just a playground"- he has feelings.  And his feelings Monday night were to dominate the field.  His rhythm is still unshakable, like a metronome.  But I think, given his metamorphosis into a power machine, he needs a new name.  Tick Tock.  At one point, Tick Tock blew by the pace line yelling, "HERE COMES WIGGINS!!!".  Bomber and Too Hip were up for the challenge.  Wiggins didn't claim KOM, and I didn't point out to Tick Tock or Too Hip until we were back at the Free House that Bomber was riding a frickin' cross bike with one front chain ring.  It was the 150rpm downhill that gave it away.  Man or machine?  It is hard to say.  Z Rex offered up a mechanical excuse for not keeping up.  Apparently, his "battery life" expired unexpectedly and he was stuck in the small ring coming off of Stagecoach (which, by the way, has been repaved and no longer requires a trip to the dentist to replace fillings after riding).  BrickO had a medical waiver after being exposed to the crop dusting event on Airport Road, followed by Loose Screw's spit ball, which was a direct hit.  I wonder if wipers on sunglasses have been invented?  All was forgiven at the Free House.  There is little a good Milk Stout can't cure.

 Our waitress was visibly distraught by the absence of Hit-the-Wall.  It was with great anticipation that she awaited the return of his beer demands (and may have mentioned that previous ex-husbands were easier to deal with).ANNOUNCEMENTS: 1) The ride May 21 will include video footage by the Drone Master.  Please ride in your most stunning Drafter gear.  We will be sure to let Tick Tock know that the guy seemingly driving too close behind our team is a friendly, so as to avoid a repeat of cussing him out. 2) No organized ride on May 28, as it is Memorial Day.Next week, May 14,  we will do the ROCK OF AGES 35mile ride, holding just short of Fish and Crystal lake. The Short Pour can ride to Dane (24miles) or take the cut off on Fellows.  We DID have a short pour ride last week thanks to KiloWatt, MegaWatt and Slow Cow.  Let's see if we can't add a few more Drafters to the 6PM group! There is an option to take the bike path home, should somebody (Tick Tock) wine incessantly about the last climb up Woodland.Rock of Ages PDF to download: Rock of Ages 35GPS link: Garmin Rock of AgesDraft responsibly,BrickO