Chapel Ride
The 10-year anniversary of BrickO’s Drafters started off with an unprecedented and impressive number of strong quads. 27 Drafters, including 3 new recruits, reported for spring training. A few more drifted in for the post-draft draft, a good sign that our priorities are in order for 2022.
The Draft was full of surprises, starting with 70 degrees in mid-March. A sea of green jerseys without jackets or leg warmers filled the staging area. The first to arrive was Vintage, wearing an official green Hincapie Drafter jersey (surprise), a porn stache (bigger surprise) and mullet (expected). With 45 minutes to spare before wheels up, Vintage headed out for an extensive warm up, blonde strands escaping from the orderly mullet, blowing in the breeze.
Dan-yelly arrived a full 15 minutes before liftoff, which is 16 more than her usual debut. Her secret? Tobacco City Boy left work at 2PM in order to round up their 3 children, secure them with a babysitter and travel from Oregon to make the Draft. After two-years MIA, TCB was barely recognizable. Fortunately, someone spotted a drafter green jersey as he drove by, just as A team was rolling out, cancelling out Dan-yelly’s timeliness.
TCB wasn’t the last to arrive. Skipper sent a forgotten shoe SOS from the Beltline near Todd Drive. He headed back to Monona minutes before the gates closed for departure. His Patagonia hangover after spending 10 days cycling with Columbus and LuLu had him a bit discombobulated. Skipper did remember to bring a 4 pack of Chocolate Mint Guinness, confirming his drafting priorities are in order.
What is chocolate mint beer without chocolate chip cookies? Gopher rose to the occasion, bringing dozens of freshly baked cookies, gluten free, no less.
And what occasions we have to celebrate! In no particular order: congratulations to Knievel and Hundo on their retirement and to LuLu on receiving tenure. The UW lost and gained some amazing Drafters, respectively. Kudos to Pitstop and Pres for persevering after their respective bike crashes last year, giving us the courage to keep on pedaling. Bomber beat cancer and had enough energy left in the tank to ski the Birkie, inspiring all of us to dig deep. SuperQ came back stronger than ever, without the added weight of an ACL. Sandlot thought that was an interesting training paradigm and ditched her ACL, along with shedding a little extra fibula weight. Cookie Monster went the other direction, gaining a belly full of beautiful baby who will be joining the draft later this summer. Thing 1 started medical school, and we are all hoping she chooses dermatology (in part, to stunt hair growth on Vintage’s mullet and porn stache). Granny Zilla is on dermatologic retainer for all drafter needs. So far, she’s cured toe fungus, hair loss and saddle sores.
Our B for Bad A** team was full strength. The 12-pack headed out, with a guest appearance by FishNBoots. Last seen, FishNBoots (AKA Tough Girl) was being escorted off the Funtathalon course after seeking bonus whiskey shot points, missing the cut off time. He received bonus points today for bringing along his beautiful bride, Venus. She definitely burns hot and bright, and spins like no other. Just as her namesake spins in the opposite direction of Earth and most other planets, Venus spins like no other Earthling. Her every step is like watching a New York Ballet performance.
Our second Newbie put to rest a hotly debated physiology discussion about the “suffering gene” and the brain’s ability to set and enforce physical limits beyond one’s VO2max. The “Central Governor” theory is the crux of Jens Voigt’s famous command, “Shut up legs. Do what I tell you to do!” Gov seeks out suffering, and in some odd way, find comfort in it. She’s gonna fit right in.
The A Team roster held 15 Drafters, including our third Newbie. She waited in the wings to get a feel for the bad boys leading us out. Somewhere before Riley Tavern, with the usual suspects pulling us at a comfortably uncomfortable pace, she made her move. That is, she moved to the head of the line, going after Cannibal like a rapid dog. I could almost feel the froth from her mouth as Cujo flew by me, quads ripping at the seams of her cycling shorts. The Drafter Illustrated Quadriceps Edition will be a beefy competition between Super Q and Cujo, coming down to the last myofiber.
The gentle southerly wind blew all sorts of unusual heat at the B for Bad A** Team. Dan-yelly appeared stranded, calling for assistance. Cannibal, demonstrating proper Drafter etiquette, slowed up to ask if she needed help. She did, but not with her bike. Dan-yelly had a small window at 5:30 to register her 3 kiddos for swim lessons, and was on hold waiting for the next available operator. These coveted swim lesson spots go faster than Cannibal downhill. TCB was simultaneously stopped, on the phone with their babysitter. As he pulled over, listening to the babysitter’s concerns over the youngest’s symptoms, he did what any responsible parent would do and trusted his instincts. A reminder: TCB had left work at 2PM in order to make his first ride in 2 years. The symptoms weren’t THAT bad. No children were harmed as TCB completed the ride, in the dark, as the lights Dan-yelly gave him for his birthday back in August were still in the box next to the diapers. The next drafted Drafter we encountered was Pres, his shiny new Madone glistening in the sun as his Garmin signaled to “make a U-turn”. Like millions of others, he is eagerly waiting for Trek’s autopilot Madone to be released. A stone’s throw from the Riley Tavern, Pres was at minimal risk for dehydration.
The A Team had their own set of issues. BrickO’s saddle bag (not a metaphor) busted a move during Cujo’s attack on Paulson Rd. There is speculation that she cut the bag loose out of fear of doing battle with the frothy dog. Captain Joe slowed up to retrieve and return BrickO’s bag, and shortly thereafter disappeared from the Draft due to cleat failure. Love em’ and leave em’ is apparently BrickO’s new motto. Remedial training for Drafter etiquette will be offered in the upcoming weeks. Skipper, being late and last to the draft after returning home to retrieve his shoes, ensured all Drafters were accounted for. He also confirmed that the wind shifted 180 degrees, as he soloed against a headwind the entire route. It must have been the Venus effect, spinning the wind around the other way.
The temperature dropped precipitously, but the cold was no match for Z Wrecks. With a fire ready to be lit in the Solo Stove and the industrial strength patio heater armed with a new tank of propane, he kept the chill away.
Columbus made her way through the Patagonia hangover to join us, along with Thing 1, who had medical school leadership duties that kept her from drafting, but not from riding the course earlier in the day.
The weather for next week looks sketchy. A game day decision will be made by 4PM and broadcast on GroupMe. If you aren’t on the GroupMe Drafter channel and would like to be, please text or email BrickO your cell number. Wheels up at 5:15 B Team and 5:30 A Team. We wait for no one. Except those who leave work at 2PM in an effort to make it on time and are dressed in green.
Daylight will be a challenge for the next few weeks, so our routes will stay fairly short. The Chapel Ride is a 20 mile tour north, with a brief section on the bike path, crossing Hwy 12 just after Springfield Corners Park and Ride and before St. Therese Chapel.
RidewithGPS link for Chapel Ride
If the ride is cancelled due to inclement weather, the Chapel Route will be recycled and executed the following week.
A link to the Hincapie Store for 2022 Drafter gear should be coming later this week. It will be posted on the blog and in GroupMe.
Draft responsibly,
BrickO